Cradling Bob Dylan
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Kidnapped In China
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Surrounded By Baboons
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Canine Rivalry
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Puberty Misread Everything
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Love During Chemo
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Cradling Bob Dylan ✳︎ Kidnapped In China ✳︎ Surrounded By Baboons ✳︎ Canine Rivalry ✳︎ Puberty Misread Everything ✳︎ Love During Chemo ✳︎
In most of my stories, improbable events unfold entirely beyond my control. Others depend on how I respond to the chaos. And yes, sometimes I’m the reason the crazy shit happens in the first place.
Discover & Listen to the Audio Teaser Stories Below:
Bob Dylan Story
At seventeen, I went from babysitting Abbie Hoffman’s son to cradling a drunken Bob Dylan in the back of a NYC Checker cab. Joan Baez on one side of me, Dennis Hopper on the other, and the voice of a generation sprawled across my lap. Dylan rose like a very inebriated Messiah, brought his face inches from mine, stared into my eyes and asked me an extremely personal question.
At seventeen, I went from babysitting Abbie Hoffman’s son to cradling a drunken Bob Dylan in the back of a NYC Checker cab. Joan Baez on one side of me, Dennis Hopper on the other, and the voice of a generation sprawled across my lap. Dylan rose like a very inebriated Messiah, brought his face inches from mine, stared into my eyes and asked me an extremely personal question.
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Just Your Normal Everyday Yugoslavian Car Accident Insane Asylum LSD Story
Three thousand feet above the Adriatic, our flimsy Citroën crashed into a stone wall, leaving me badly injured and alone in the rain. Six strangers carried me away in a van with a goat and three chickens, then abandoned me inside a remote medieval insane asylum where no one spoke English and no one knew I was missing.
Three thousand feet above the Adriatic, our flimsy Citroën crashed into a stone wall, leaving me badly injured and alone in the rain. Six strangers carried me away in a van with a goat and three chickens, then abandoned me inside a remote medieval insane asylum where no one spoke English and no one knew I was missing.
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You Light Up My Life
At twenty-one, I met Sarah on Santorini, lost her, then miraculously found her again aboard a departing train in Marseilles; the beginning of a feverish Paris love story I believed fate had written just for me. Three years later, a famous song became my personal breakup song that played everywhere.
At twenty-one, I met Sarah on Santorini, lost her, then miraculously found her again aboard a departing train in Marseilles; the beginning of a feverish Paris love story I believed fate had written just for me. Three years later, a famous song became my personal breakup song that played everywhere.
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I’m Not Afraid Of Dying, I Just Don’t Want To Be There When It Happens
A casual Saturday stroll through Shenzhen ends with me naked, tied to a wooden cross. As a Jew, I could have done without the symbolism.
A casual Saturday stroll through Shenzhen ends with me naked, tied to a wooden cross. As a Jew, I could have done without the symbolism.
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I Gave Up Acting When My Dog Became An Acting Superstar
A stranger in a Speedo asked if I was an actor; I sensed urgency, lied, and six weeks later I was on a soap opera. After Woody Allen cut me from his movie, I bought Jake to console myself. Shockingly, my golden retriever Jake catapulted to fame. I studied with great acting teachers, but Jake became the star. I billed him for my therapy.
A stranger in a Speedo asked if I was an actor; I sensed urgency, lied, and six weeks later I was on a soap opera. After Woody Allen cut me from his movie, I bought Jake to console myself. Shockingly, my golden retriever Jake catapulted to fame. I studied with great acting teachers, but Jake became the star. I billed him for my therapy.
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Can’t Curb My Enthusiasm Red Curb Liberation Society
I moved from New York to Oakland and learned to let things go—until the city painted my perfectly good curb red. This wasn’t about parking anymore; civilization was at stake. I always wanted to be a superhero.
I moved from New York to Oakland and learned to let things go—until the city painted my perfectly good curb red. This wasn’t about parking anymore; civilization was at stake. I always wanted to be a superhero.
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The Best Time of My Life While Undergoing Chemo
A routine colonoscopy revealed colon cancer and somehow triggered the best year of my life. The woman who had barely noticed me reached out the night of my diagnosis, then sent me a song with the lyrics: “You grew on me like a tumor; and you spread through me like malignant melanoma; and now you’re in my heart.” Did I find true love?
A routine colonoscopy revealed colon cancer and somehow triggered the best year of my life. The woman who had barely noticed me reached out the night of my diagnosis, then sent me a song with the lyrics: “You grew on me like a tumor; and you spread through me like malignant melanoma; and now you’re in my heart.” Did I find true love?
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“The New Yorker is Frozen, Suddenly Aware that he is not as alone as he imagined himself to be.”
A year into my Peace Corps posting, I was living alone in a mud hut, desperate for conversation, romance, and a sandwich that didn’t require an eleven-hour drive. So I borrowed a car and headed across West Africa to visit a woman I barely knew. Somewhere along the way, I learned that loneliness can make you do foolish things—and that the jungle has its own ideas about lunch.
A year into my Peace Corps posting, I was living alone in a mud hut, desperate for conversation, romance, and a sandwich that didn’t require an eleven-hour drive. So I borrowed a car and headed across West Africa to visit a woman I barely knew. Somewhere along the way, I learned that loneliness can make you do foolish things—and that the jungle has its own ideas about lunch.
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An Asshole In His Prime
At JFK, I claim an abandoned four-dollar rental luggage cart. Minutes later, I’m unconscious, under arrest, and somehow involved in the Middle East peace process. I finally understood the difference between a schlemiel, a schlimazel, and a schmendrik.
At JFK, I claim an abandoned four-dollar rental luggage cart. Minutes later, I’m unconscious, under arrest, and somehow involved in the Middle East peace process. I finally understood the difference between a schlemiel, a schlimazel, and a schmendrik.
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Oh Pauline
At twelve, after reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and my grandfather’s Freud collection, I launched the worst-conceived seduction campaign in Brooklyn history: against our fifty-two-year-old housekeeper. It involved barbells, a jockstrap, baby oil, and a catastrophic misunderstanding of women.
At twelve, after reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and my grandfather’s Freud collection, I launched the worst-conceived seduction campaign in Brooklyn history: against our fifty-two-year-old housekeeper. It involved barbells, a jockstrap, baby oil, and a catastrophic misunderstanding of women.
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